Sticky Notes of Goodness


You are good and the source of good; train me in your goodness. (Psalm 119:68MSG)

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect as I walked into the home of a couple that had been given dire news. He had recently been diagnosed with a brain tumor and given a poor prognosis. We were all reeling from the shock of it ourselves as just a few weeks prior he was teaching our Sunday school class with the depth of a scholar and the passion of one who knew what it was to be forgiven.

His study desk had been replaced with a hospital bed, an IV pole stood where his lampstand once did, medicine bottles lined a side table and there he lay. She told me he wanted to be in the same room where he met the Lord each morning to read, pray and study, knowing he would soon meet him face to face.

As I was walking from the study, down the hall, through the living room to the kitchen to put away the food I had brought, I noticed something…sticky notes….on the walls, the furniture, the countertops, the cabinets, in the bathroom…they were everywhere. Some had just a word or two; others were completely filled.

She and I sat down to have some coffee and conversation and I asked her about the sticky notes. She shared with me that this had been the hardest thing she had ever had to face and yet God was showing his goodness in all sorts of ways. She started writing them down on sticky notes as reminders when she was feeling extra sad or overwhelmed.

I walked out of there having learned something that would remain with me through some of my own difficulties and disasters, headaches and heartbreaks, faults and fears, turbulence and tears.

The goodness of God is immutable which is a fancy pants word meaning unchanging over time.

God is good even when…

I am not. I used to think God was only good to me when I was good. That somehow my behavior determined his goodness towards me. And yet, while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. (Romans 5:8)

God is good even when…

Others are not. People can be mean. We can feel unwelcome, uninvited and unseen. God doesn’t pick sides. In his goodness, he welcomes, invites and sees each one of us. Look for the goodness. It’s there. He’s there.

God is good even when…

Our prayers aren’t answered the way we think they should be or in the time frame we wish they were. God is good. And God is good at being God. I am a work in progress but I’m learning to sticky note his goodness along the way of waiting.

God is good even when…

Life is not. There have been so many things that have happened since that day in Shirl’s living room 20 some years ago. Hard things. Long periods of time where I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be. Loss, sickness, devastation, marriage stuff, kid stuff, family stuff, health scares, you name it.

God’s goodness remains steadfast through it all. We can experience peace and joy no matter what, not because life is always good but because God is.

I’m not sure what made me think about this time with Shirl and Bud. Maybe I need to get my sticky notes back out. Maybe you’re going through some stuff right now and need to get some sticky notes of your own.

God is good.




Girl in the White Bell-Bottom Jeans


Not normally one to seek out adventure, I threw caution to the wind, got out from the safety of the middle and decided to try my hand with the faster, more experienced kids.

I should have known better.

But I’m getting ahead of myself so let me back up a bit.

My brother and I were the second set of kids my grandparents raised. Money was tight on Grandpa’s swing shift job working the burn off at Anchor Hocking. My Granny helped in all the ways she could cooking, keeping house, and sewing. She sewed most all of my clothes.

My younger self didn’t begin to understand things like single incomes, budgets and frugality. I just knew that nothing screamed poor like matching gingham shirts and pants. All I wanted to do was fit in. I wanted someone to notice my clothes, not because they were making fun of the homespun, but because I was setting a fashion trend. For once I wanted to hear the girls ask me where I shopped for such a cute outfit.

Much to my delight (and seven day work weeks for my Grandpa) I got to get a store bought outfit in the spring of my third grade year. I was the shizzle getting off the bus and walking in to class that day. I had the cutest little solid red top that fit perfectly. The pants? Oh my word!  White bell-bottom jeans trimmed with a red cuff and white polka dots. And not just any bell-bottoms. No. These were elephant bell-bottoms! Bell-bottoms that had bell-bottoms. Throw on some new white Keds and I was ready for the runway, setting trends and blazing fashion trails that left all things gingham-checked in my dust…

I was having the best day.

That is until I decided to get adventurous and push the (now banned death trap) merry-go-round on the playground. As you might have guessed, it didn’t go well. It got going faster than my little girl legs could go and since I wasn’t used to jeans with flared bottoms, well, I took a pretty good tumble. On a side note: It’s important to let go once you fall down, otherwise you keep going but not on your feet.

The boys laughed and the girls gasped and I got all kinds of attention I hadn’t bargained for nor wanted. My hands had rocks embedded in them and both of my knees and one hip were bloodied. That wasn’t even the worst of it. The school nurse could clean and cover those with ointment and Band-Aids. But what of my pants?

I felt a little like Ralphie from The Christmas Story who thought his mom wouldn’t notice his busted up glasses. My pants were shredded at both knees and down one thigh (remember to let go…) with so much dirt and blood you couldn’t tell there was a red cuff let alone white polka dots.

What was I going to tell my Granny? She asked all manner of questions: What was I thinking? Why didn’t I stay in the middle where it was safer? Better yet, why get on that thing at all?  Your Grandpa worked hard so you could have those jeans and you ruined them because you were goofing off  and being full of yourself.

I don’t know if these were the exact questions but it was the gist of what I walked away with. Somewhere along the way, that day translated into: being adventurous and carefree equals getting hurt and disappointing people. It equals falling and failing.

Unknowingly, that day followed me around well into my adult years.  Afraid to draw attention. Afraid to be brave. Afraid to get out of the middle.  Afraid to be carefree.  Afraid to let loose and go fast. Afraid to disappoint. Afraid to fall. Afraid to fail. Always playing it safe for fear of busting up my best bell-bottoms.

Oh, this memory wasn’t like a cash transaction where I purposely handed over money in exchange for fear. It’s more like an auto-pay where you don’t even think about it until you see the withdrawal on your bank statement. I simply kept forgetting to cancel the auto-ship on a package I no longer wanted.

I began to recognize that little girl in the torn and now bloodied bell-bottomed jeans was embedded in my thoughts like those rocks in my hands. Always reminding me. Silently berating, shaming. Once I understood it was her that was whispering like the wind… don’t venture too far too fast, you’ll fall down, people will laugh, better play it safe, you don’t want to disappoint… I began the process of picking out the lies, of healing the hurt, of mending the tears, of telling her it’s alright. Ever so slowly I began to inch my way out of the middle, to put myself out there, to know I could fall and fail but also get up and try again. I could have fun and go on adventures. And it was okay.

The girl in the white bell-bottom jeans?

She is me. Only better. Maybe she is you too?





Now We Wait…

This is me in the early years of garden training. I still love my wheelbarrow!

We won’t be “knee high by the fourth of July” (that’s garden talk for how tall your corn should be by then) but we did get the whole garden planted a couple weeks ago. It’s a little late going in but with the weather and work schedule…well, we may be harvesting during Christmas break but at least there will be more people here to help. (Smile)

In the meantime, we do something many struggle doing. We wait. We aren’t a very patient people when it comes to waiting well. The garden is a classroom full of learning….patience, grace, sweat, trust, hard work. It’s good for the soul and cheaper than therapy. (And you get tomatoes… 🙂

There are things we can control….which seeds to plant, where we plant them, garden design, soil amendment, fencing the area and the amount of work we put in weeding, tending and nurturing.

There are things we can’t control…the weather and whether the seeds will germinate. Then there’s the animals…birds eat the seeds, bunnies eat the young shoots (green bean leaves are apparently a favorite), raccoons eat the corn…you can’t “relocate” them all 😉

One thing gardening has taught me…trust the process. We’ve gone out everyday to watch for any changes. It started with noticing bumps of soil where we planted seeds. A couple days later we began to notice pods that had busted open or tender shoots that had broken through. How it knows to do what it does is amazing!

We worked the process and the process worked. Mostly.

Some areas aren’t thriving like other areas. Some seeds didn’t bust open. They didn’t even break through the soil. That happens doesn’t it? The same care. The same environment. Different outcomes.

Sometimes you have to start an area over and reseed.

The waiting is hard. The results can be frustrating. You can do everything right then a big storm comes and washes away all your work. You end up growing corn in the next county.

And reseed again.

We planted 21 boxes, an heirloom tomato patch, several rows of corn and more. We added chicken wire fence to the fence to keep the bunnies out…hopefully.

What about in life?

To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow. (Audrey Hepburn)

When we care for something (someone), we want to see it grow, mature and change. But we have to trust the process here as well.

There are things we can control like the seeds we plant…love, kindness, generosity, hope, joy. The words we speak into someone…affirmations, honesty, wisdom. The environment we provide….safety, warmth, discussions.  We can weed and protect to the best of our ability. Dirty knees are the sign of a warrior of weeds and a person of prayer.

But. (Always a but!)

There are things we cannot control. Like the time it takes for those seeds to take root. The world around those we love. The environment that those we care for choose to surround themselves with. Sickness, cancer, divorce. Weeds…what’s with the weeds?! One day there are none and the next you can’t find your tender shoot anywhere!

Trust the process!

Keep nurturing. Keep sowing love and kindness. Keep showering in prayer. Keep having conversations. (Nagging, arguing and judging are not the same as conversing.)

Everyone’s germination period looks different. Some take time to break open because they themselves have been busted up. (Read more about being broken here…  )

And just when you think you’re lined up in neat rows, a storm hits, sending your hard work all over the place. Dang it. But keep going…

Reseed but never recede.

I know questions come in the darkness of night when the house is still but your mind is anything but. The what ifs. The whens. The hows. The doubts hang on you like an x-ray apron, making it hard to breathe let alone hope.

But remember this…

Just because we don’t see anything going on doesn’t mean there’s not. A lot of changes are happening deep down. Cultivation comes about underground, out of eye sight. We can add the Miracle Grow but only God grows the miracle.

Green beans and limas are up as well as winter and summer squash and zucchini for “bikini bread” according to my grandson. Cucumbers and peas are loving the trellis. 🙂

Be patient. Change will happen. Your garden will grow. Hope abounds. For now, we wait.


More Joy in One Ordinary Day


Why is everyone hungry for more? “More, more,” they say. “More. More.” I have God’s more-than-enough. More joy in one ordinary day. (Psalm 4:6-7 MSG)

 That last line got me…

More JOY in one ORDINARY day.

I want to find joy in the simple satisfactions of every day rather than be always waiting, ever disappointed when the marvelous is mowed down by mere.

It takes extraordinary courage to find joy in ordinary days when the world is hungry for more.

It’s easy to do isn’t it? Chase after the massive monumentals; the bigger-than-life-itself stuff. The living with tomorrow in mind and miss the here and now. I don’t want to become so busy chasing after extraordinary that I miss the joy that comes with the ordinary.

I never want to tire of the wonder of an egg. How does a chicken make an outer shell with an egg inside? Not to mention the greens, blues and all manner of hues. And then there’s one yolk or two?

I never want to tire of the smell of sun-kissed sheets dried on the line. It makes for the outdoor to come in and my sleep so fine.


I never want to tire of watching bees work to make honey. They take nectar from a flower and turn it in to something worth more than money.

The smell of bread baking and apple butter making.

Georgia peaches that travelled so far, line my shelf in wide-mouth Mason jars.


Sunrises and sunsets and super moons that are blue, remind me each day to be grateful and true.


Photo of this beautiful blue super moon is courtesy of Dianna Dickson 🙂

Old hymnals filled with songs I hold dear. They tell of grace and a cross and of Jesus who’s near.


I want to notice the forget-me-not so tiny and small as well as those who feel like flowers on a wall.

The snow as it glistens like diamonds in the sun. The hoof prints of deer making a path as they run.

The smell of a babe as you rock her to sleep is a joy in one’s heart forever to keep.

Sitting on my front porch swing listening to the frogs as they sing.

The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest. (Thomas Moore)

There’s nothing wrong with setting goals as long as we don’t get so busy racing towards the next thing that we miss the victory of today. There is more joy in an ordinary day when we s-l-o-w down enough to notice. Chasing after slow is a bit of all right too.

It does take practice. And determination. And courage. It takes a certain fearlessness and fortitude to say STOP in a world full of clamor and commotion.

We are so wired by technology to always be on, always be involved, always be in the know, that it takes a literal brain reboot to enjoy (in joy) silence and solitude and God’s more-than-enough.

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. (William Arthur Ward)

There is so much to be thankful for, so much to be joyful about, so much to be blessed by…in a simple ordinary day.

Fiercely for you!












When You End Up in the Ditch

The Cup Plant known to collect rain water in her “cups” that can be used for drinking water in emergencies. She can be found in ditches along roadsides, offering us a cool drink perhaps?

I had been asking Mom for gas money for several days. While I had been watching the needle move towards E, it didn’t really dawn on me that I would run out of gas…oh to be 16 again…until my car sputtered to a halt on my way to school one morning. My sister and I were able to push it off the country road enough to not get hit.

Fortunately for my siblings and me, my then boyfriend, now husband (awww…insert heart emoji’s here) took the same route to school, saw us stranded and pulled over to pick us up. There’s nothing quite like piling in to a ’67 VW with rusted floorboards. But at least his tank was full.

Later that day, I got scolded pretty good by my stepfather for parking in the ditch at the wrong angle. Wait. What? I guess gas couldn’t get to the carburetor because of the angle of the car….or something like that. (To this day I have no knowledge of any of this…I couldn’t even spell carburetor just now!)

I wish I could tell you this was the last time I ended up in a ditch. But, well, life happens, tanks run out, and there you are, parked at a wonky angle in the ditch. I’ve learned a few things through the years….

When you’re running towards E you have to go to a resource that can help you. The logical place to go for gas money was my Mom. This is usually true. What I didn’t know is she couldn’t give me what she herself didn’t have…money for gas. I kept waiting. She kept putting it off. I ended up in the ditch.

Sometimes the actions (or inaction) of others are what put you in the ditch. Had I realized there was no money for gas, I could have caught a ride to school with said hunk of a boy mentioned above.

How many times have I gone to someone who simply did not have the know- how or wherewithal to give me what I needed to prevent me from ending up in the ditch.

I just kept driving.

When you’re running towards E you have to pay attention to the signs. It was naïve (foolish?) of me to think I could just keep going and going and never run out of gas. There were red flags…like the needle that kept creeping closer to empty. My truck today has a signal that lets me know when I’m 50 miles or less to empty. (And believe me, I head to the nearest gas station because that beep makes me panic a little!)

How many times have I ignored signs and red flags and beeps and just kept going? Oh, hello, Mr. Ditch. We must stop meeting like this. I had no clue we’d be together again so soon. Oh wait. Yes I did. I chose to ignore them!

 I just kept driving.

When you’re running on E you don’t get to choose where you park, you just land where you run out of gas. It’s almost always not in a convenient spot…

Sometimes it’s in the hospital because you’ve ignored your body’s symptoms. Sometimes it’s with a counselor because you’ve ignored your feelings and thoughts. Sometimes it’s in divorce court because you’ve ignored warning signs in your marriage. Sometimes it’s because of someone else’s actions or lack thereof. Sometimes it’s in the middle of a store and you start crying for not any one thing but a million.  And you can’t stop.

We just keep driving.

The Bull Thistle…completely dried up…just like us when we “bull” our way through and keep driving.

No matter the reason, no matter the how, no matter the why, we have a Rescuer. He doesn’t look at us and think You idiot. (Though he may shake his head on occasion…) He looks at his children with compassion. He doesn’t ignore our cries from the ditch…no matter how we ran out of gas, no matter what angle we “parked” the car…he hears us…

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. (Psalm 40:1-3)

 Oh. My. Soul!

Chicory coming up THROUGH a crack in the road. 

He is the Resource that never runs out. He is the One with all the answers. He is the Fuel that fills my tank. He is the Nemesis to my enemy. He is the Light that shows the way. He is Breath when I cannot breathe. He is.

He is the Lifter of my head when I’m weary. He is the Hearer of my heart. He is the collector of my tears. He is the Helper in times of trouble. He is Firmness under my feet. He is the Rock on which I stand. He is.

He Rescues. Redeems. Restores. Amen.





A Bounty in the Broken

When you walked into the small side room of my grandparent’s basement you were witness to a beautiful bounty. There stood before you row after row, on metal shelf after metal shelf the goodness of hard work that would last us all winter long. We would dine like queens and kings while the wind howled, temperatures dropped and snow drifted.

Tomatoes pureed, juiced, whole, or ketchupped. Peaches and peas. Corn and green beans. Carrots and beets. Grape juice and limas. Jams and jellies of all varieties. The colors were vibrant. Bellies would be full. It was a time of celebration and thanksgiving for such sustenance.


Thanks to Tammy Linden for this picture that reminded me so much of my Granny’s basement.

This past year has been difficult. You too? We are (finally) experiencing the reaping of some harvest but it wasn’t without being broken along the way. As I have been contemplating and reminiscing I discovered I’ve learned a few things along the way:

Before the bounty of the harvest, much brokenness occurs.

Our neighbor back the lane, Greg, would bring us a big pile of horse manure every fall after the harvest. He would simply spread the manure over the entire garden, let it sit for a few days then plow it under so the soil could absorb the rich nutrients and be ready for a spring planting.

Until the ground was broken the manure simply lay on top, not doing a whole lot of good. It was after the breaking that the manure could do its job of making the soil rich and ready to reap a harvest.

There was plenty of manure spread this past year. Hard stuff. Difficulties. Tests. Trials. It was when I became completely broken that the richness of those struggles could seep down in and begin to reap a harvest. When I allowed God to plow the hardness of my own heart and begin to break it for those things that break his, then I could begin to see the promise of the harvest.

In the spring Greg would give the garden one final plow with his big tractor and then my Grandfather would go through with the rototiller and break the ground even further. The breaking of the ground the second time made it more pliable for row making.

After some time during this past year my prayer stopped being to change her or fix them but instead became what is it You’re trying to teach me that I still haven’t learned. I needed to be broken down further in order to be more pliable.

My Grandfather would then take a hand row maker and by following a string to help make the rows straight, he would once again break the ground. This breaking was not so harsh or deep. More mindful and with a specific purpose…preparation for seeds.

There is ALWAYS purpose in brokenness. Always. Areas that need to be prepared for growth. James tells us to consider it pure joy whenever [we] face trials of many kinds because [we] know that the testing of [our] faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that [we] may be mature and complete. (James 1:2-4)

You don’t reap a harvest with immature plants.

My Grandfather would then lay the seeds in the newly dug row. Our job as kids was to follow behind him and cover the seeds with soil. In the darkness of the earth, change to that seed occurred. There in the silence the seed pod gets broken open, then has to fight its way through the darkness to break through the soil. Out of the darkness comes new growth and a seed changed into what it was meant to be all along…a maturing plant, one that will nourish and feed.

Not one moment of brokenness is wasted.

Sometimes dark places, silent places can be scary. We live in a do something kind of world. We live in a shout it out kind of society. To be still is foreign. To be quiet is alien. To sit in the dark is unnerving. We don’t like when we cannot see. But isn’t that what faith is all about? Of being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

There were many moments when I felt covered by darkness. Smothered. Times when I couldn’t see. Did I trust God to make the changes needed to be made ~ in me, in my situation ~ even though I couldn’t see what was going on underground, in the dark? Would I trust Him in the process necessary to produce a rich, ripe, bountiful harvest? A maturation that would nourish and feed others?

We would then watch and wait. Water and weed. You could almost see the plants grow from one day to the next. Corn stalks that grew well over my little girl head would soon grow tiny ears of corn that would mature to full ears quickly. Every day you would see my grandparents walking the garden, checking for maturity and ripeness. Then you would hear them exclaim that in two days we would pick the corn to be put away.

More brokenness was necessary in order for the garden to be of any use to us.

We would break the ears off the stalks (or beans off the plants or peas from their pods), rip the husks off, silk it with a little brush then cut the corn off the cob to be blanched and put in the freezer. Again a process with a purpose.

My Granny would never have been able to serve us the delicious meals she did if there hadn’t been brokenness. Instead we ate and enjoyed the bountiful harvest from all our hard work. And yes, the brokenness along the way.

There is a bounty in the broken.

Jesus understands brokenness. He gave thanks and broke the bread that would feed over 5000 people. Feeding the broken with broken.

He gave thanks and broke bread with a small, more intimate group…his disciples. Serving the broken with broken.

He willingly gave his body, broken so we could live. Hope for the broken with broken.

There is a beautiful bounty, a harvest beyond our imagination in our brokenness.


Under the Poplar Tree

As a little girl, I never thought it odd that my older brother and I lived with our paternal grandparents. The kids at school never questioned it nor did the teachers blink twice over it. My grandparents never complained about raising us and we just knew this was home from the time I was 18 months old.

My Grandparents “got fancy” and had their 50 year anniversary pic made. The insert is of them as newlyweds.

We moved to the country very soon after officially moving in with them. It was a two acre plot of land with a 3 bedroom little white house trimmed with red shutters and detached garage.

Simple and lovely.

One of my very favorite spots was found in the backyard between the house and half acre garden, under the tulip poplar tree. So much life happened in the shade of that tree. Her branches would beckon and her fragrance a fresh reminder of summer.

Under the poplar tree I/we would:

~ play freeze tag or hide and seek for hours. She would act as base, the neutral zone until someone shouted, Olly, Olly all is free. Then we would gather under that tree with the two neighbor boys (our only playmates) and eat freeze pops or homemade cookies.

~ catch lightning bugs and put them in Mason jars with grass in the bottom and holes punched in the lids. The neighbor boys would know it was time to go home by a distinct whistle from their mom.

~ lay upside down on a hill close to the tree, watch the clouds roll by and creatively imagine them being a dinosaur, elephant or any manner of object.

~ on that same hill and under that same tree we would gaze up into the night sky and be mesmerized by the twinkling lights. A reminder that when the night is the darkest the stars shine the brightest.

Under the poplar tree wasn’t just for play either. We would spend hours out there sitting in metal framed, nylon stripped lawn chairs snapping green beans, shelling peas or shucking corn. Everyone helped and we each had a job to do.

Under the poplar tree wasn’t just for play or work. Many times, especially Sundays or when my Grand pappy had a short change over from working the burn off at Anchor Hocking, we would take naps out in the shade of the poplar tree. It was often cooler out there then in the house with “raised window” air conditioning. Naps got really fancy when we graduated to a hammock he’d gotten one year for Father’s Day.

Here is Grand pappy sitting in one of those metal lawn chairs, in his typical gardening attire, listening to AM radio and taking a break under the poplar tree. You can see part of the garden in the background.

When I got older we would sip iced tea or lemonade and catch up with family and friends. Grand pappy was always up for a cup of steaming hot instant coffee no matter the temperature outside. Fight fire with fire was his motto.

It was a gathering place to share hopes and dreams; laughter and tears. Many times throughout my years living there I would see my Granny sitting in one of those metal lawn chairs with her eyes closed and lips silently moving.

When I was little, I thought it was a weird thing to do. What I didn’t realize, she was probably praying that the Lord would keep her from snatching my brother and me bald headed! When I got a little older I asked what she was doing. She said…

“Sometimes when life gets to be too much it’s good to just set a spell and pray. It quiets the mind and settles the soul.”

My Granny wasn’t a loud woman of faith. She simply made it her ambition to lead a quiet life, mind her own business and work with her hands. (1Thessalonians 4:11) In doing so she afforded me a safe place to grow, learn and come into being my own person.

Granny dressed in her Sunday best. She would take us kids to church every single week even though Grand pappy wouldn’t go. If the preacher came by Grand pappy got a stern talking to…no raunchy talk or dirty jokes! The picture of Jesus in the background hung there for as long as I can remember because He was family too.

We all need a poplar tree place. A place where you can set a spell and pray. A place where you can quiet the mind and settle your soul. In fact we need more poplar tree everything…kids playing outside, looking at the stars, catching lightning bugs and making shapes out of the clouds. This world needs more poplar tree moments of families gathering to share life, good times, sad times and even hard times. Friends stopping by to share a glass of lemonade and checking in on each other.

Simpler times. Lovely times.

You can find me on any given day, at any given time at my poplar tree place. It’s not under an actual tree but on the farms front porch. Sometimes I set a spell by myself. Sometimes I share a glass of tea (or wine) with friends and we talk about things…serious things or just shoot-the-bull kinds of things. Sometimes we simply sit and listen to the birds sing, the frogs ribbet, breathing in the moment.

What’s your poplar tree place? Where do you go to set a spell, quiet your mind and settle your soul? You’re welcome to join me on the farms front porch!!

Fiercely for you!